September / October 2014

Oceanside Welcomes 

Helen Hoffses, LMSW-cc & Amanda Methot, LMSW-cc

Oceanside is pleased to announce two new clinicians have joined our team!  Helen Hoffses and Amanda Methot recently accepted the clinical positions.  Helen was an intern with our practice during her second year clinical rotation and has extensive experience working with issues related to parenting, trauma and abuse, ADHD, Autism, behavior issues, bullying, depression, anxiety and addictive behaviors.  After graduation, Helen obtained her license and accepted a position to continue to support the clients she began working with as an intern and also continues to build her case load.   Amanda also accepted a position with our team and has experience working with substance abuse and working in a partial hospitalization program facilitating and conceptualizing education, building skills and facilitating psychotherapy groups with adults needing support in managing mental health issues.    


Thank You From Julie & Jonathan

 Oceanside has benefited from adding remarkable people to our ever-growing clinical team.  Consistently, we are offered feedback from our community that many individuals enjoy working with our agency and benefit from community collaboration.  It is hard to believe that next week we begin another school year and shortly thereafter fall will be with us. As we enter the next Season, we hope to continue our work within the community and we greatly appreciate your ongoing support for our agency

Thank you!  


Healthy Mind/ Healthy Body

There is a powerful connection between an individual’s mind and body, also known as the mind/body connection. If you feel good physically, you increase your chances to feel good emotionally and vise versa. “We feel emotions in our bodies” wrote Anther Barsly, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and author of Worried Sick: Our Troubled Quest for Wellness. We have all experienced this concept; examples are when an individual is worried or nervous about starting a new school, job or meeting new people they may experience physical symptoms such as stomach ache, headaches, trouble breathing or an increase in heart rate just to name a few. On the other hand, individuals who have skipped a meal could emotionally feel confused, frustrated or agitated. There are also benefits to the mind/body connection, such as when an individual is emotionally feeling positive, they increase their chances feeling better physically and vise versa. In this quarterly news letter, we provided the physical and emotional benefits of sleep, eating healthy and exercise. We also provide five techniques to manage your anger; these techniques could also help with other negative emotions that individuals may experience. We also have provided a few activities to reduce stress.

Step 1: Recognize your triggers.

The first step to look at is why you lose your temper. Understanding our triggers as adults is just as important as trying to figure out what sets our kids off so that we can help them control themselves. As the mother of a proverbial middle child teenager who also has ADD,  and has a hard time controlling his impulses, I know that what triggers me is his bad attitude. When he starts with negativity or backtalk, it’s important for me to take a step back and really focus on how I’m feeling at the moment: my neck tenses, my cheeks feel flushed, and, having a hot temper myself, I can almost taste the words readying themselves to roll off my tongue in response! By recognizing my emotional triggers as well as the physical sensations in my body that are associated with them, I am better equipped to say, “Okay, I know that I’m not going down a good path. Stop.” Some triggers at your house might include your toddler saying “No!” for the one-hundredth time that day, your middle schooler rolling her eyes at you, or your high schooler failing to do their chores…again. When you are holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

Step 2: Find your strategies to calm.
Finding a calming strategy that works for you can stop you from losing your temper.  Some ideas are:

  • Walk away (literally):When you find you are about to lose it, walk away from your child.  For older kids, feel free to say, “You know, I’m not ready to talk to you about this right now so I’m going to be alone for a few moments until I can calm down.”
  • Practice deep breathing:  Make sure you are breathing from your abdomen instead of shallow breathing from your chest. Practice doing ten full abdominal breaths until you are calm again.
  • Count backwards:Before opening your mouth to respond, consider counting backwards towards calmness, until you are in a different
  • Choose Your Battles.
    Too often our own tantrums are born out of parents feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, so it’s important to not put yourself in a position of feeling chronically overwhelmed by getting upset over every little annoying thing your child does. One way to combat this is to really think hard about what is important to try to enforce and what you can just let go of in regards to your child.

Be Kind to Yourself.
Lastly, practice self-care by being kind and forgiving towards yourself. Parents are harder on themselves than any other group of individuals I know of. This is born out of intense feelings of love and concern for our kids, as well as the desire to get it all right all the time. But there’s no such thing as a perfect parent who does it all right, all the time. Most of us are lucky if we can get through the day being a “good enough” parent. Whether you lose your temper once or twenty times, acknowledge to yourself that you’ve made mistakes, and commit to doing better in the future.


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